These Mountains We Climb

I tried for seven years to get pregnant. Seven. That’s seven birthdays. Seven Christmases. Seven changes of weather that turned the summer trees to shades of amber and then disappeared under seven new blankets of snow. But seven felt like a hundred. I missed my baby without even having met him yet. I longed for … More He knew me at 24 weeks

Jesus always deserves the crown. Of course. And we see Mary with the halo. Much deserved. But last night as my husband and I took our kids to a Lights of Christmas festival in Warm Beach, I noticed something interesting about the nativity. Lights of Christmas is a beautiful village of lights ranging from Santa … More I’m trying to be like Joseph

I’ve had a headache for two weeks straight now. You think that’s an exaggeration. I can assure you it is not. *Here’s where all the moms nod their heads in unison* My sweet, perfect, amazing baby boy with a huge smile and scrunchy nose is not so perfect at night sometimes. Especially lately, he just … More I’ll still love you in the night

“Do you agree to submit to your husband emotionally, spiritually, physically–as well as sexually?” That was a question that was asked to me in a BYU-I office when I was 22 years old. Sexually? Like how? I had a rock on my left hand that I looked at and twisted nervously. I was dumbly, naively, … More If Sam Young’s LDS excommunication doesn’t outrage you, you’re doing something wrong.

It isn’t ever like we imagine. The picture we create in our heads–the expectations we tend to have–they never truly manifest the same way we imagine them up to be. Sometimes we go years wishing for something. Sometimes we’re given something we really have trouble handling, not even knowing it’s the very thing someone else … More For all that God refused me

I woke up at around 2 in the morning with my baby’s foot in my rib and sweat on my forehead. It was the dream–not his kick–that woke me up. I dreamed that I was walking across a concrete floor, wet from a hose, that led to several chain-linked cages against a wall. Frantically in … More For now, he is safe.: A human perspective

“I’m such a jerk.” I said that to myself a week or so ago as I strapped my seat belt under my gargantuan almost-8-month pregnant belly, let out a tired moan, and replayed what I had said to him in the bathroom mirror that morning as he buttoned his work shirt. I was in a … More My husband married a jerk.

It’s still my least-favorite holiday. Probably because no matter how far you come or how things change, you tend to remember. All of it. This last weekend was our baby shower. Our house was filled to overflowing with over fifty family and friends who came to celebrate our baby boy with gifts, food, decorations, laughter, … More To the one who dreads Mother’s Day

I have sat in the empty tomb before. I think we all have in some way or another. We’ve approached where we think He is–where we think help is, or comfort is, or wisdom. And we come up empty. Sometimes–He just isn’t there. I saw this piece of artwork today and it stopped me in … More I’ve also cried at an empty tomb

It was my fault when it really comes down to it. I opened my mouth–again. Or should I say I opened my virtual mouth, seeing as how it all took place on a blog thread. My comment was short–not at all confrontational–and yet it set a fire. And it reminded me of a world I … More Sorry, but Christ doesn’t just want me to be a mother.